INSPIRATION
‘Time does not pass, it continues…’
today walking to school Luca and I dodged Dinosaurs, sadly one of them ate the rather large dog that was barking at us.
today my girl burst into tears, school is really hard, she has Italian grammar homework, she doesn’t know why she gets so angry.
she climbed into my lap just like she did when she was three, for a hug then immediately resumed her ongoing battle with all things Mum.
yesterday Luca was in trouble, his normally smiling teacher called me over and in rapid Italian let me know she wasn’t happy about something. that something was the rude finger, and some fairly choice language from my normally sweet, gentle ten year old son.
today it was tempting to walk out the door and just keep going.
my little family is totally out of sorts.
as I write my girl is calling out in her sleep, when she was little she had night terrors, the first one scared us both half to death.
I do sometimes feel like a terrible mother, one who doesn’t check on homework, or comb hair in the morning,
I wrote the following a few days ago over at my facebook page, and since then have determined to spend more time with my family, less time plugged into the computer, more time creating a simple life, building a secure base, focusing on what is important, more time noticing my daughters struggles and my sons rude finger, more time playing together
more time dodging Dinosaurs.
Our Italian Life: I have walked up and down the mountain four times today. Taking Luca to and from school and then picking him up again.
It’s reminded me of why we came here, to reconnect, to spend time with our kids, to enjoy life and all it’s simple pleasures.
Creating a Simple Life
Walking with my son to school is one of those pleasures, we chat, stop to pick up rocks that look like fossils, pick up walnuts, and arrive just in time to gallop into school without looking back.
It reminds me of all the things that take me away from the life I want to live here, the emails, the posts to read, the to do lists still to make, the webinars I want to watch, facebook updates, and photos to sort.
It reminds me of how much I totally love our kids, how much I want to spend time with them and how often I am hooked into the computer.
The total joy he finds each day as we walk to school in the simplest things is inspiring. Today Carina came down to school with me to pick up Luca. She’s been home with a bit of a cold and it was a chance to get some fresh air.
We took the dog with us, we actually got to chat about school, we all had an ice-cream before starting the walk back up the hill. We pulled to the side of the road to let the cows pass, picked a few late season blackberries, Luca threw his ‘divining rod’ into the river to see it wash away.
It was really special.
It is something I intend to spend more time doing, like putting on the music and dancing in the kitchen with Carina. Visiting the place under the apple trees where Mishu is buried to lay wildflowers, to finally peel, dice and stew those apples, and to really spend time creating a simple life in the mountains of Italy xxx
I promise this to myself, please remind me if you see me here too often.
It’s time to turn things around, I’ll be posting occasionally about how things are going, I’d love you to join me with your own thoughts on creating your life.
I’m hoping that you’ll hold me to account, have me share what’s important
the good and the bad,
rude finger and all.
and the gang x
Why do you think properties are so reasonable in that area?
Is it the northern climate or rural community?
I am retired and moving to Teglio Veneto, a small village near Portogruaro.
Looking to purchase a home needing substantial renovations.
Moving from Vancouver, BC Canada which has weather quite similar to Venice area.
Will be following your progress and wish you great success.
Ciao Michael, when we first started looking for a house back in Australia we googled ‘cheapest house in Piemonte’…..our house came up. When we arrived we looked at it through the agent and knew it was perfect, the medieval borgata, plenty of scope for restoration, the beautiful valley and the local village. Nobody believes we bought it for so little. The general mindset is that Italy is in a crisis, many of the buildings here are falling apart and not valued, the climate can be hard through winter but is glorious during the rest of the year.
If you are on facebook I have a group page also called Renovating Italy which I hope will become a great resource for those restoring property in Italy. Wonderful to meet you and look forward to hearing more about your home x ciao ciao lisa
Hi Lisa, I often read but don’t often comment but am compelled to today. When I read your words I feel they could be mine. Yes, I too sometimes feel like a bad mother. And yes, I too didn’t always check homework. And now, with my 16 year old son I feel terrible when one of his friends mother tells me something I should know. And when my 19 year old daughter picks up the pieces at home when I am having a bad day…I feel like a bad mother. Then when my almost grown children hug me, kiss me goodnight and call out “love you, mum” I feel ok. Don’t knock yourself, too many other will. You are obviously doing a brilliant job and being a mum is the hardest jobs of all. Take care.
It’s all those little moments that make the tantrums bearable, the hugs and the kisses. Now that all the school memo’s are in Italian I leave them for Sam, I had so many ideals when I was first pregnant and always pictured myself and the kids sitting in a park on a blanket reading and playing, ha ha.
I’m glad to be doing this hardest job, I love being a Mum and sending love to you Marcellina. xx
Hi there, I’m from Maine and have two little girls 5 and 9 and follow Carla which is how I found you. I admire your journey and love your posts. I thought I would share the most amazing Website I stumbled upon that saved me one day called “Abundant Mama”. It is truly a gift. She has incredible insight and beautiful ways of being the moms we want to be. Please take the time to look It’s everything we struggle with. Good luck with it all. Your not alone.
Thanks for that Aura, (what a beautiful name by the way). 5 and 9 would be a handful of sweetness. I had a look at Abundant Mama, very inspiring and I can totally relate. Thanks for sharing her with me xx
love lisa
Please tell Carina that I too am crying over Italian grammar. I have recently moved to Italy and I am learning the language from the beginning. It is so difficult. But she has a young brain and it will soon fall into place. Just tackle some grammar every day Carina, over and over again, and it will fall into place. Sadly my older brain is rebelling. ( I’m a Grandmother ) But we will get there. We just have to slog at it.
I am totally bamboozled by Italian grammar, how are you learning Lisa? Luckily Carina is at school and with her friends she sounds like a native now. Some good resources I have found are Duo Lingo, Italki, and also a blogger Cher Hale who writes at The iceburg project xx
you and I will just have to keep slogging x
Lisa, I love reading about your travels and travails. The photos in Paris were priceless and gorgeous. I miss Italy and Europe and your blog reminds me why – and of my dream to live in rural Italy. It will probably never happen, but knowing your family is “doing it” for me makes me smile!
You aren’t a bad mom; you are a busy mom! I know you spend more family-centered time with yours than most of the moms I know here in the Midwest USA. Our kids have before and after-school “programs” as well as endless sports and other activities. Many families spend less than two waking hours with their kids each weekday.
I cried over English grammar; even more over algebra (and nightmares). Carina is not alone! As for your son, he is a growing boy. It would be interesting to find out if his peers are also “saluting” – perhaps out of school time or on the playground. And then *you* won’t feel alone.
That is so lovely Louisa, and a dream is always something to cherish. I know I shouldn’t beat myself up over my parenting, and I am creating ways to really spend quality time with the kids here in Italy. Poor Luca was distraught by the end of the evening after confronting his teacher (he adores her) and with his autism it’s hard to bring him back down. It’s hard not being able to really convey his traits to the teachers, I see him blossoming and Carina has settled into high school now so homework is becoming a habit.
Thanks for your reassurance and that confidence that I am not alone xxx
Simplifying your life is really the best way to find solutions. I find the internet and the computer in general saps my energy. I write more with pen and paper nowadays, my writing’s better for it and my life is more energised and focused when technology is turned off. I hope love and affection sooth the hard times and that the fun of dodging dinosaurs makes you smile.
At times being a Mum also means simply getting through it.
All possible good Karma.
When I started B-School I followed a lot of the other people just to get a feel for the whole thing. I have found some great sites but time to trim the others back. I think I’d like to start a journal again with pen and paper.
Our dinosaur walks in the morning are such a laugh, we collect all kinds of things and stop to take photos so it can take some time to get to school I like to think he has already started learning on the way.
PS I love those Sicilian puppets you mentioned and Italy out of season is the best x
Thanks for the good karma, I am finding my patience with Carina and hoping we all get through the teenage years unscathed xx
Do you think you could un plug for a season?I know it would be hard, but it might be the KEY to a slower pace of LIFE.Or allow yourself to plug in after the kids are asleep……….this computer thing is addicting and I think I too am ready to walk away from it for awhile……………don’t worry about the FINGER!The worse is yet to come.Enjoy them while you can as they will be gone all too soon!This all comes from the heart in no way do I mean to be rude or mean.Italy is a beautiful place………I said in the early 90’s they were about 20 years behind the STATES…………that might be a good thing in todays world.
You Know what …..I think I could totally unplug for a season (well at least schedule some posts onto fb). I see that I share everything on fb and here at the blog I only share once a week. I think I’m going to start posting here more often and have my readers come here to the blog to see what we are doing.
Luca and the finger was so funny as he is normally so placid and gentle. I’m not worried about him, rather the responses he might get at school, I am off to enjoy the weekend with my kids and husband, thank you so much for your words of wisdom, your gorgeous CAPITALS which always make me smile as I can almost hear you speaking. I love how you speak straight from the heart, I think it’s why I feel such a closeness to you even though we’ve never met.
sending love xxx
Me and my CAPS!!!Love what you wrote……as I explained to my ITALIAN husband I write the way I SPEAK!
The Italian will COME………….I promise.Keep listening to the radio and the TV!If your NOT paying attention somehow one day it will all make perfect sense and YOU will think OH MY GOD I UNDERSTOOD ALL OF WHAT WAS SAID!I was just getting to hear the accents when we left………she is from MILANO or he is TUSCAN…….now thats all gone!Pretty much the ITALIAN too………….UN A BRACIO BELLA……….XX
So funny, I love your CAPS…… I’m understanding about half of what is said to me now. Hearing the actual accents seems beyond me but Sam can walk through the market and hear any Calabrese lol xx
all my love and my mean eyeball on your side….
check out good enough moms concept
Oh love that ‘mean eyeball’ you made me laugh xx
i’ll check it out thanks Charmain x
You are simply AMAZING and your family are lucky to have you! Life’s ups and downs happen to all of us but your warm spirit and love is what matters and the minutiae of everyday life is just that – life!
I agree about the computer bit – you and I both know that it becomes an obsession/addiction and it’s not healthy to be on it so much. Trying to build a business and get income for your family is the motivation for both of us but it is so hard to keep up. A mini break will do you the world of good. We love you out here so will be here whether you post twice or ten times a day! Big giant hug xxx
Thanks Sarah, ups and downs here aplenty. I am thinking about my online presence and even though I have been blogging for years I haven’t made a cent (not that I’ve actually tried). My focus this year is making an income which would help us in so many ways, we are living on savings which won’t last forever. A mini break and time to regroup and focus on my goals xx
sending big love to you as well and hugs, lots of hugs xxxx
I’m sorry to hear you’ve had a rough couple of days! But Carina’s moodiness is completely, utterly normal for her age – the tween/early teenage years are fraught with contradicting thoughts, feelings, hormones, etc.
As for Luca, that DOES seem rather out of character for him! Perhaps, he, too, is going through some inner challenges and acting out.
Hang in there – it’ll continue to ebb and flow, and your children will seem to alternate between angels and devils. Give them some space, be there when they need, and lean on Sam. All very normal and typical, I’m afraid!
Hugs to all of you!! xo
Ha Ha d’oh of course she’s hormonal and I am looking for ways to help her through this rough time of transformation.
With Luca it’s important to let him finish what he is focused on, if he has a book he HAS to finish turning the pages, he was photocopying something at school and had a few more to do, it was end of day and he needed to pack up, normally it’s possible to divert him but if tired it’s much harder. His teacher is so wonderful and patient, he just adores her and was distraught when he got home that she was upset with him…..’now she hates me, the pretty lady hates me, she doesn’t want me at school now…..everyone at school won’t like me, etc etc for hours crying in my bed until he fell asleep. Impossible to calm him once he gets into this I just have to be close and reassure xx
YOu are FAR from a bad terrible mother Lisa , I don’t know how you can even think of saying that. As you say , your family is out of sorts, we all go through this at some point. Some sorts are harder than others but I am sure you will get though all this.
My granddaughter Olivia age 5 has night terrors, and I remember the one she had when I was at there house , it was horrendous and then a little while ago , they were on holiday , in a caravan , all was fine and then this all mighty scream came from no where , they wondered what had happened, and they could not calm her down for hours.. I wonder why this happens, I hope Carina and Olivia can out grow them,
Take care Lisa, you are doing a great job , xx
Thanks Anne, I see all the things I’m not doing for my kids rather than those I am doing. We’ve always been a bit hit or miss with things like schedules, lunches, homework, actually the entire school experience has been that way. I compare myself to the other mums who have perfectly presented kids, always on time, and never forget stuff.
I know Carina is coming into puberty and trying to be patient, Luca can have meltdowns if tired and once he is set on something it’s hard to move him from that. In a school full of other kids it’s not always possible to take that extra time Luca often needs to keep him steady. The language is our fault, we do swear at home, the rude finger he sees on movies, he has a way with words and was very clear with his frustration and anger, now to find new words for him to use LOL xx
Carina still talks in her sleep, I’m turning into an insomniac and of course life has it’s ups and downs, it wouldn’t be fun otherwise right???
sending love and thanks for jumping to my defense xxx