Bangkok Dreaming
We were to stop in Bangkok for ten days of rest, recovery and exploration.
Things didn’t work out that way and I felt as if Thailand was trying to tell me something that I just couldn’t quite capture. As she pressed each tense muscle on my body I resisted.
My anger, fear, and pain refused to be released.
We both fell apart and Sam bought all the stresses along with him, they consumed him in Bangkok and he hardly left the room.
The times we ventured out were filled with anxiety, and yet she kept whispering to me giving me tiny glimpses of tranquility.
The most magical moment was within a tranquil green park with this lady as she and her partner danced with grace and gave us a gift of laughter.
They showed the kids how to flick the fan just so creating a startling crack which had Luca in fits of giggles.
Nothing to do and nowhere to be, just that moment with those people and the peace we had been searching for.
We left Bangkok early, a quick decision and booked to leave the next morning first thing. I found that little lesson that she was trying to teach me, give in….let it go…..see your family as they are not as you wish them to be…..go on your way with peace.
Carina and I that night wandered the street near our hotel arm in arm, just some time with my little girl and her big dreams.
The ten days became four, the relaxation became a rush to leave and a long uncertain flight into our new future.
I thank you for the grace and strength you showed me x
Only saw your post now. Would I have known, we could have met. I totally understand you. Bangkok is not relaxing at all. And it is always too hot to wonder around. 4 days are perfectly sufficient. I dream of Italy every day, but here is the job…
Greetings from Bangkok 🙂
S
Ciao Susan, next time we are in Bangkok we would love to catch up with you, we always stop here on the way back and forth to Australia. We love Bangkok but sadly had to leave early because Sam got sick. I am loving life here in Italy, and we hope Sam’s parents can come this year, his Mum is from Sicily (Salina) and Dad from Calabria so a trip down South in the camper van is a definite. xxCiao from Italia xxx
Morning Lisa, I don’t know how I missed these posts. I didn’t know you were in Bangkok.
I guess that saying “listen to your little voice” was really working for you. I know things have not all been easy for Vladimir. He left his family to come with me. He is moody sometimes and I think he is thinking of his family. One relative that got out sent him a box of family fotos and when he opened it he just cried. I mentioned to him this week about going back for a visit and he said no. Conditions in Cuba are not good and when they do go back for a visit immigration treats them like s@#t! They are made to feel so bad. He sends money and calls for short phone calls but they are monitored also. Not very nice eh?
He is happy here and that is all that is important. There have been problems also, things I never thought of with coming to a new country and it seems every week he learns something new. He loves the cold weather!!! Imagine.
More another time.
Besos
Evelyn
Oh Evelyn I can’t even imagine what that would be like, how hard for him. How many family members are in Cuba? It’s so hard sometimes for men to open up with feelings like these, I wish they could. Your Vladimir sounds like a wonderful man xxx
Wow, read this post AFTER having read the one about buying the unexpected house. My first thought is Bangkok was telling you to go, to leave. Nothing to see here, missy. Move along. There’s something for you to be doing elsewhere, so get going. Maybe had you stayed the full ten days, you wouldn’t have been in the right place at the right time to happen upon the unexpected house. I don’t know. But I’m a firm believer that things happen for a reason. Not necessarily fate, but things unfold as they should. When I think back to times in my life that I perceived an event as being “unfortunate,” those times were so often the catalyst or turning point for something fabulous that followed….if that makes sense. Look at that picture of Sam and the kids at the end of the lane in your little Italian village. Sam is beaming and looks the picture of health and happiness. Bangkok was just trying to hurry you along to where you all needed to be. XXX
I think you’re right Bev, she was giving us a little push. We are so much happier now and have started to slow down, the kids are outside 90% of the day enjoying life and getting into mischief. Each day brings a new delight and the people are just fascinating. We are where we need to be and thank you for your gorgeous comment, sorry to take so long to reply it slipped past me somehow xxx
This is beautiful. I hear you, things didn’t go the way you planned. So what else is new. Haha. I love that you guys, as always, just packed up and headed towards your dreams.
that’s us pack up and get on with it!! xxx
I totally know what it’s like to just pack up and leave a country early. We did that when we were in Egypt. It just wasn’t working for us, so we started the long trip home.
I’m glad you found the pieces of tranquility despite the anxiety!
It’s such a strange feeling to suddenly leave a dream destination, but you are right it wasn’t going to work for Sam right at that moment so best to keep moving toward Italia x
Gosh, I don’t blame you at all wanting to leave early and GET TO ITALY!
Glad to hear that you are there now and that everyone, mostly Sam, feels much better.
Are you going straight to Veravo? Or…that is the name of your village, isn’t it?
One time while on vacation in Oaxaca I just could not stop worrying about our teenage daughter who we had left at home with her oldest brother and his girl friend. I just could not finish out the ten days we had planned to be there. I paid extra to change our flight date home and off we went. I never looked back and was just so happy to see her, safe and sound.
Yes strange that!!!
We have been to Veravo and the house needs a lot of work before we can live in it. In the meantime we just today bought a house in the mountains and it is as if time stood still. I can fully understand how you would change your flight due to concern for your daughter, they are the light of our lives aren’t they. xxx
Wow! Bangkok looks like it’s fabulous! I’m sure you and the family are loving it.
it is just incredible and somewhere we both love, our children are trying everything and love it also x
It is strange when roles are reversed, but good to know we can do it. And how lucky that you were able to change your plans and bring your departure forward – imagine if you had to stay. These things happen, they are just not always spoken of! You have had a very stressful lead up to your trip. Glad Sam is feeling better in Italy and hoping you can all relax and enjoy 🙂
If Sam hadn’t been sick I doubt I would have ventured out onto the streets alone let alone with Carina. Sam is such a rock and seeing him so vulnerable gave us all pause for thought. I do believe this is such a hidden side of daily life, that even his doctor didn’t pick up on this still amazes me. Today we had some big adventures in the mountains and life is exciting x
sending love xxx
Again, I am struck by your honesty, your courage. It takes a wise person to make such a decision. Thank you for sharing the truth of your story–it is a potent reminder for all of us…I understand, I most certainly do. From time to time I get emails from folks saying “Oh, you live in Provence, you have the perfect life!” and I want to respond, “But it is still life and life can be messy!!” There are still plenty of bumps in the road even if the scenery is beautiful…but it is worth it, as you well know.
Am sending good energy to all of you…
Gros bisous,
Heather
I often think that’s the problem Heather, people only want to share the good stuff. Moving country, especially to Italy is a dream for so many people, letting on that things aren’t going smoothly upsets that dream. Yes those bumps in the road are still here, but I see my hubby getting better each day. Our kids haven’t seen a TV or computer and today spent time in the mountains just being kids it was priceless x
Lisa, wonderful photos of Bangkok! I can understand why at this midway point in your life–between the old and the new–you were not able to unwind. And what a powerful life lesson you’ve shown us:
see your family as they are not as you wish them to be
Thanks jann coming from you that’s a huge compliment I just love your images. i see that i expect my husband to be the rock in our relationship, it was confronting to suddenly take on the role of rock rather than lean on him x sending love lisa x
Travel and change are really hard work plus you’ve had a such a build-up. I agree it’s best to bow to needs and feelings and health. Bangkok will still be there when you go back ! Good luck with the next big steps. I’ve moved house/continent several times with a big family and anxiety levels run high, no matter how calm you’d love to be. Hugs, cat
So true Catherine and it’s good to know we are not the only ones, it feels wrong to tell people we are struggling with this dream when so many would love to be in our place. xxx
Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do to make things right. 🙂
thanks dear Jackie, it seemed like madness when Sam said he wanted to leave early but health is the most important thing and Sam knew he had to get out and fast for his sanity. As soon as he landed in Italy he was less stressed and able to cope. He still finds it hard to believe it’s due to stress and anxiety but I showed him the site beyond blue and he saw that all the symptoms he has been experiencing are the same x
WOW – I so wished I had hid in your suitcases!!!
Thanking you for sharing your Bangok Dreaming images….love them 🙂
We took so many it was hard to choose just a few that really captured how she affected me. Sam was ill the entire time and we had to leave early so I feel many things are unfinished with Thailand and I know we will return as we love it so much x
so very sorry you had to leave early, hope Sam gets well asap. Sending love your way xxx
thanks hon, he’s much improved x