A Year of Leo - #1 - Renovating Italy

INSPIRATION

Feeling way out of sync!

When did I learn to eat my feelings, to swallow them whole before they flew from my mouth or flashed from my eyes.

We have had a tiny visitor, she is two and has no trouble expressing exactly how she feels from moment to moment.

I on the other hand have long since learned it’s easier to go with the flow, but as I am moving into my second fifty years (yep I’m going to make it past 100) I am starting to think about what I really want from life.

Currently what I want and what I am getting are way out of sync…….I have been in a funk, a blue funk.

Funnily enough I just visited a favorite blog Zen Habits and Leo happened to be talking straight to me!

Does that ever happen to you?

Having been ill, menopausal, stressed, and just last week falling like a sack of potatoes and cracking a rib, I know I need a bit of time out. Time to renew my love with my husband (whom I’ve been really really cranky with), time to sleep, to walk, to pick the wildflowers without feeling guilty that should be doing something else ‘more productive’, time to find me again.

Time to reconnect with this Simple Life that we love.

Sam has been unwell, he has gone through a number of hospital tests for allergies, guess what he’s allergic to cats (up till today we had eight, now we have six), stone fruit (we have an orchard), dust (well just don’t even go there) so he is doomed lol. He’s been told to loose weight, and I need to join him, so it’s a change of diet to come.

Carina is a teenage girl with all the drama that goes with the age. Luca is just Luca.

I am slowly going around the bend and beating myself up constantly for not being this incredible switched on blogging superwoman, for not having a perfectly clean house, or a ‘perfect’ Mum, wife, daughter, sister, friend.

So according to Leo “It’s OK to be in Funk Town now and then. We all do it, so you’re not alone at all. It’s human to go through ups and downs, to not always be on a high. We sometimes doubt ourselves, sometimes get really tired, sometimes suffer. Because of your experience in Funk Town, you’ll be stronger and wiser and ready to take on the next challenge with renewed gratitude.”

So I may be posting daily, or weekly, or even miss a week (I’ll try not to do that anymore), but I will be posting. I can’t exactly tell you where it will lead, I have no certainty from moment to moment anymore, but I am ever the optimist so I know it will all turn out okay in the end.

I am thinking of doing a Year of Simplicity……because if I don’t do something soon I’m going to disappear. I’ll still be posting about Italy, our simple life and all that goes with living in a medieval renovation, but sharing the ups and downs on a personal level as well.

Hope to chat with you here, to connect on a deeper level and to share what we really deal with, to be honest with each other……..can we do that?

Save

and the gang x

16 replies

Trisha Thomas says:
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Hey I can relate to that. Funktown. I think I must have been there many times over the past year. Just like you, I have recently past the 50 post and find myself often grouchy, stressed and feeling fed up with the entire world. And, like you, I add the blogger’s guilt on top. I have a job, a husband and three teenage children and I manage to make myself feel guilty for not posting. As my son would say, “What’s up with that Mom? Chill!!” I wish I could. I have also wished I could be 40 again and feel energetic, lively and attractive. Yes, we both need to take a break and dedicate some time to ourselves. Take a rest, relax and enjoy and your many followers will be waiting for you when you get back.
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Sarah Elizabeth says:
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I know how you feel. I too put incredible amounts of pressure on myself, trying to be the perfect mother, have a perfect house etc etc. Then I get tired and cranky and I feel bad for not being more patient with my family. But it’s ok to be cranky. You don’t have to be smiling and happy and optimistic all of the time. That’s tiring. Be yourself, even if that sometimes means you’re grumpy. I’ve just been catching up on your blog after being away from blogland for a long time. I’m slowly getting back into it and hoping to share some pictures of our own renovation which is now complete. I’d love to come and stay sometime at the Borgata, it’s so hot here now in Umbria and some mountain air would be bliss. Maybe next year! Lots of love to you x x
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Tammy says:
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Lisa,

Thank you for sharing from your heart and being so open, honest and vulnerable. I think it’s wonderful that you’re taking the time to take care of and honor yourself. I’m also starting my second fifty years of life and I’ve noticed that with each decade I grow and change.

When I turned fifty I could felt a shift within and focused more on self-care and wanting to truly live this second half of my life fully. I want to be more present, have more fun and allow myself to have quiet time and to take care of myself. Life is so precious and each moment is a blessing.

Thanks again for sharing. We inspire others when we share our story and our truth because there are always others going through a similar thing.

Hugs & Blessings! With Love,
Tammy
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Krista says:
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Honesty sounds absolutely wonderful to me, lovely! XOXO My bit of honesty today is that I’m sick, so sick from a venomous spider bite, and feeling quite sorry for myself since I’m now on Day Four of misery. And my house is a wreck and my to-do list a mile long and instead of tackling them I have to rest and ask for help and that makes me cranky. 🙂 So I shall think of you and do my best to invest in me and us and our animals and farm with love, and just let everything be mussed up until I can tackle things again. 🙂 XO
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Kelly says:
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Hi Lisa, I think your being really hard on yourself. I guess we as women have preconceived ideas about what we should be doing or feeling and if we don’t fit those ideas we get stressed. You have made a massive life change and as mum and wife we somehow take on the responsibility to make everyone else’s experience as perfect as we possibly can. Of course then we feel bad when that doesn’t happen or come up to our own expectations. Let’s face it teenage years are tough ! Menopause is massively tough ! Living a completely different life to how we have been raised is tough ! Marriage and all it’s compromises can be tough ! Your new life is still “NEW” you are only two years in so still adapting and on top of that you have had money worries too. Sweetie you are out there living the life many of us would aspire to and in fact your braveness and willingness to share those experiences good and bad have given me a little more strength to change my families life too from a semi rural but isolated life to that of life beside the sea. I know we will have our ups and downs but I’m confident it’s a better way of life for me and my children and of course my hubby. You have just managed a massive renovation and a hard winter, get out there into those lush fields and just be you. Sit and breathe the fresh air, enjoy the wild flowers and just know you are amazing ! I really mean that, “YOU ARE AMAZING” just be kind to yourself and keep giving yourself time, it will all come good, I just know it will. Lots of love Kelly.
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Linda Tripodi says:
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Lisa, Lisa, Lisa…I second what everyone else has said. Half the world has fallen in love with you and your family. No one is going to fault you for easing up on the blog, and anywhere else, for that matter. We want the very best for you guys. I think I’ve said this before, but, I actually do see you as some kind of superwoman! You have had a lot on your plate for quite some time, no guilt! I’m happy to hear that you intend to give yourself a bit of a break. Prayers for renewed health and happiness to all. Un grande abbraccio!
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Alice Lawless says:
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Hi Lisa,
Totally can relate but you’re going to be OK. Maybe hit the “pause” button on your life for a few days and breathe. Menopause can make you crazy but I’ve found if I get more sleep and some extra exercise in it helps. I’ve also learned to say “no” (nicely) to people who are asking me to do something eg volunteer and sometimes put myself at the top of the family priority list. Think about spending some extra time with your friends and re-visit your bucket list. I also examined activities I liked to do as a child/teen and found things I loved that I couldn’t believe I had stopped doing. And started doing them again. Another reader had a great suggestion for blocking off time when you don’t take guests. I realize there is an important monetary factor here but your health is too. The weight thing is the hardest part for me but I found when my husband and I are working on it together we are more successful e.g. re: food and having a workout buddy to cheer you on when you are lacking motivation. For me cutting carbs has worked the best, but this might be hard to do in Italy.
You talk about being out of sync with what you want and what you have. I’m not sure what you want exactly but guessing you are working dreadfully hard and not exactly living “la dolce vita” the way you imagined it? All I can say is stop and smell the cappuccino by thinking daily of things you are thankful for and appreciate in your life. Some days I have to scrape the bottom of the barrel but it really helps me. So hang in there Lisa. None of us are “superwomen” – that’s an illusion. We’re all just doing the best we can. Cheers, Alice
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Kaye Bonato says:
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Hi Lisa,
Sorry about the rib, I haven’t been on fb as much lately, due to some virus and a bit of a funk myself, so I didn’t know.
As to all the allergies, you do learn to live with them and sometimes when you make changes to one part of your life (like loosing weight) other things change too. Stay strong….you are amazing all the time.
Love
K
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jann says:
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Hi Lisa,
Yes, I agree with the other commenters. Blogging break! Or you could decide to just blog once a month? A month passes quickly and your readers will totally understand and look forward to your posts with bated breath–anticipation is a great thing. Buon riposo to you and Sam xxxxx
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Nancy says:
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Just a note of encouragement…I think you are amazing. You also have a lot on your plate. Much more than most of us.
I would like to give you a bit to read, that helped me through more than a few rough spots. Psalm 37:3-7
Hugs,
nancy
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Wynne says:
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Aarrgghh!! Yes, you can scream. And loudly. Thankfully, what you’re experiencing and feeling is completely and utterly normal (which I know you know).

I feel for Sam, being allergic to cats (so sad!), stone fruit (that’s a thing?) and dust (well, no help there – take Benedryl!). You’ll all come through this just fine, I have faith.

And yes – take a break from blogging – we’ll all be here when you’re ready. And if need be, block the calendar so you needn’t feel “on” all the time for visitors. Call it a guest-free time for just the four of you to regroup. The added pressure of guests has got to be difficult too, and takes time away from our own personal “to-do” list. And that list will be there if you take a break from IT, too.

Go easier on yourselves. You’re human. It’s OK.

Love…
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- Miffy says:
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  Hello Lisa & Sam, thanks for sharing, we are all in this together, this thing called life….. as the one constant I have learned (all be it very slowly), in my own life over the past four years, has been to take care of self first, only I know what Iam are capable of, so I travel at my speed, be kind to self, love yourself …..you are both amazing people, raising two beautiful children, in an environment most of us would gladly swap with…don’t know about the winters though!….I feel the love of what you are creating there, not just for yourselves but future generations…I look forward to the day when I can experience it with you….love & warm hugs to you all _/\_
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Mary says:
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Lisa ….. I have been exactly where you are, and I haven’t moved to another country ???? Please take it easy on yourself. We are a selfish lot, and love your daily musings, but when it is too stressful, you need to take a step back and take good care of you. Are you missing the closeness of female companions? I know you love your life, but just sometimes, you need time out with some girlfriends. Or ,maybe you just need the healing powers of a local lady. Take care and best wishes in the next chapter ❤️❤️❤️❤️
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Caterina B says:
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Lisa, of course you should take a break from blogging. Just do it only when you feel like it. I have learned to just slow down and take it easy. Life should not be an endless to do list. I have a friend who is very driven to accomplish
“something” every day. I don’t know if she enjoys her life, it doesn’t seem like
she does. She often says, “Well, got that out of the way.” I want to say something back to her but hold my tongue. Everything one could say would be a cliche. I fear I must look like an extremely lazy woman to her and her husband but I have to just let go of those feelings. Thoughts are just that, thoughts, and usually are not real. I suspect that Sam does not expect you to accomplish a long list of tasks every day, is it just yourself who expects it?
I am sorry to hear that you and Sam are having health issues. I know that is hard, but things are constantly changing in life, aren’t they? What I try to do every day is look at Nature and observe something small and new. I firmly believe Nature has all the answers and it certainly is the most worthwhile and important thing about life.(next to one’s family) Just remember we all appreciate you all the time.
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Janice says:
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Why not take a blogging vacation to catch up with your life? Sounds like your simple life isn’t simple now…so give it a rest. Everyone can wait…take care! I am allergic to cats too, and even one sets me off, can be dangerous. Best wishes from Sardegna!
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Mattea Francesco says:
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‘Nothing lasts forever and everything passes with time’
…remember those words when times get tough….U and the family took on
an enormous challenge…however, inch by inch it has developed…
U have grown along the way….in every undertaking there is hardship…..
feast on the glories of your adventure….
I would miss your posts…..
…..everyday is a step closer to fulfillment….
…try yoga…the breathing works beautifully once U let go…and u live in
a perfect setting to enjoy all that nature offers…..think calm and content…
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